


These Things Do Happen

by orphan_account



Series: After the Rain [1]
Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Loss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Sad and Sweet, Sad with a Happy Ending, Stonegrot - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 00:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21045239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Deet discovers she's expecting, she and Rian couldn't be happier to welcome their childling into the world! But as they both know all too well, things don't always go as planned. And when tragedy strikes, can Deet stop blaming herself and pull together with Rian, or will this crushing blow leave her lost to him forever?Angst and hurt/comfort with a happy ending.





	These Things Do Happen

**Author's Note:**

> I was kicking around the idea of this story for a while, and when I discovered that today, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in America, I stayed up all night to write the first draft so I could get it out by today. This is a lot heavier than what I normally write and I hope I treated this topic with the respect it deserves.
> 
> FINAL WARNING: As you've probably gathered by now, this story contains the depiction of a miscarriage and the emotional aftermath that goes along with it. If this upsets you, it would be best to skip this story. 
> 
> If you're ok with this, then please read on:

"A life may last just for a moment, but memory can make that moment last forever."

-unknown

She remembered the day she first discovered she was with childling. She practically flew put of Maudra Argot’s cottage when she'd been given the news she’d been hoping for. The Maudra yelled after her scolding her not to run, but she couldn’t help it! She had to see her husband as soon as possible, because of course It was Rian who had first approached her with the idea of expanding their little family. She remembered with a smile the night he’d posed the question to her, how unsure of himself he’d seemed when he asked her how she would feel about perhaps...maybe... adding in a little one? His nervousness vanished when She immediately said yes, because she herself had been wanting the same thing for some time, but she hadn’t quite known how to approach him. They set to trying for one immediately but to their disappointment had so far found no luck... until now. And now that the fruits of their (admittedly pleasant) labor had finally payed off she had to tell him immediately. She found him outside in the front garden of the cottage that they’d shared since their marriage. He stared at her bewildered as she came bounding up to him and blurted out her happy news. She knew he'd be overjoyed to discover it for himself, but did not expect him to lift her off of her feet and spin her around in his arms. She scolded him to put her down as they both laughed. She remembered how perfect it all was then, the joy in his eyes and the fullness in her heart. It was real. They were going to be parents.

Next to hear the news was their closest group of friends, who were of course overjoyed to hear. Gurjin clapped Rian on the back with an enthusiastic “Well done!” while Kylan had offered to whittle them toys. Brea was the most excited of all, as she was already a few unum along in her own pregnancy with her husband, Rek'yr. Brea was thrilled to now have one of her closest friends sharing the experience with her, "Just wait until you can start feeling them move!" She told Deet, as she rubbed a hand over own growing belly, "It's unlike anything else you've ever known! you'll never forget it." It was several weeks later before Deet learned that Brea was right. Deet's pregnancy advanced smoothly and uneventfully as the weeks went by, much to the jealousy of Brea who had a rough time with nausea in her early stages. Deet went about her daily chores as usual, but with a more relaxed pace at Rian's insistence that she not overtax herself. She was kneeling on the bedroom floor, folding the washing when she first felt it: a sharp little kick at the back of her belly. She nearly jumped when she felt it but her surprise turned to joy when she realized what it was. She jumped up and yelled after Rian to come and feel. There wasn’t a day that went by when she didn’t count herself lucky to be married to Rian. He constantly showered both her and her growing belly with all the love and affection he could give. Everyday she thought he must be the most wonderful husband in all of Thra, and she knew he would be an even better father.

As the weeks went by she experienced even more sensations as her childling began to move about more often. It was a bizarre, alien feeling to have another life moving around inside of her. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to it! But she treasured every sensation just the same, each little foot that kicked at her belly and each little fist that punched at her ribs. But there was one sensation that she treasured above all the others, and that was due to what she suspected it to be. She had no way to be certain that it was in fact what she thought it was, and kept it to herself just in case she was imagining things. She felt it mainly at night, when the baby was otherwise still and quiet. It was a gentle, fluttering sensation that came in bursts and she could have sworn that it was the fluttering of little crystalline wings. She knew she shouldn't get her hopes up in case she was wrong, but she couldn't help it as she imagined a little girl with Rian’s chestnut hair and her own dark, almond eyes. She smiled as it sank in, she was having a little girl...a daughter... 

It was less than a week later when it all came crashing down. It started out just like any other day, she was awoken by Rian with a kiss to the forehead and a teasing, “Good morning sleepy head.” She scrunched up her nose in the way she knew he thought was cute and begged for five more minutes, but he resisted her charms and made her get up, insisting that the breakfast he’d made for the two of them (well, the three of them actually) was getting cold. When Deet rose from bed she immediately felt that something was off. It wasn’t anything specific she could put her finger on, just a lingering feeling in the pit of her belly that something was wrong. But since she could find nothing amiss after a brief inspection of her body, she shook her head and decided that it was nothing. She told Rian about it at the breakfast table and he nodded slowly as he listened to her explain it. He agreed that it was probably nothing but suggested that she check in with the Maudra-just to be sure. She agreed with him and decided to go in the afternoon. She rose to clear the table but stopped and wrinkled her nose in confusion-that was odd. There was something sticky and wet clinging to her inner thighs. That hadn’t been there when she woke up. She reached a hand under her dress to see what it was and felt her heart catch in her throat when she drew it back and recognized the thick, pinkish substance that stained her fingers. Blood. Her wide eyes met Rian’s as they both froze in horror. But Before either of them could make another move, suddenly a sharp, splitting pain struck her abdomen like a bolt of lightening and she sank to her knees with a cry of pain. Rian was at her side in an instant asking her what was wrong, But the pain was so intense she couldn’t speak. She could barely even think. The whole room was spinning and Rian’s voice seemed to fade further and further into the background each time he cried out to her. As the world faded to black around her It occurred to her with a sickening realization that she hadn’t felt the baby stir all morning.

* * *

By the time she awoke in her own bed hours later the three brothers had long since set, giving way to night. The entire day was a blur to her as she faded in and out of consciousness. She had vague recollections of being carried to bed, of voices murmuring over her and hands prodding at her, of having her legs pried apart and being told to push... but most of all she remembered the pain. She shuddered, oh Thra, that horrible splitting pain! By far the most intense she’d ever known. She tried to sit herself up on her elbows as she struggled to remember what had happened a little clearer, but found that her arms were much too weak to hold her weight. She was completely drained. Her stirring alerted the gelfing sitting next to her who she’d only just now noticed. “Oh! Careful now Deet don’t strain yourself...here.” she recognized the voice as Brea’s, and she was thankful as her friend helped prop her up into a sitting position on her pillows. When she was settled, Brea turned her head and called to a pair of huddled figures talking together just outside of the open bedroom door, “Rian! Maudra Argot! She’s coming to.”

The Maudra waddled in slowly while Rian rushed to her side. He took her hand in his own and pressed a deep, lingering kiss to her forehead, “Good morning sleepy head...” he said softly, “Are you feeling any better?”

“A...a little.” Her voice was so weak and hoarse she could scarcely recognize it, “Rian...I cant remember everything...what happened?” She saw Rian’s eyes go wide as he exchanged panicked glances between Brea and the Maudra. Deet noticed Brea’s eyes were brimmed with tears as she became aware with a terrible sinking feeling just how hollow her insides felt now. It was Maudra Argot who cleared her throat and stepped forwards to explain the situation as gently as she could. Apparently, For some unknown reason Deet’s body had rejected the pregnancy and thrust her into early labor...and she was so early on...far too early. Rian squeezed her hand as Deet bit her lip and nodded in understanding. She didn’t need to be told any more to understand. Even the Maudra with all her skill and wisdom was completely powerless to make a childling live outside of its mother so long before it’s time. Deet’s mouth went dry as she tried to digest this bitter reality. She was vaguely aware that The Maudra was murmuring some words of apology and something about “these things do happen,” and “there’s always next time,” before turning her back to leave. But before the Maudra could get far, Deet strained forwards on her pillows and cried out as loudly as her hoarse voice could manage, “Maudra Argot, wait!” The Maudra turned on her heel to face the bed, “Please, I...I have to know...” Deet pleaded, tears stinging at the edge of her eyes, “Was it a girl?”

Rian and Brea exchanged shocked glances, and The Maudra’s eyes went wide for a moment before she cast them down to the floor and nodded grimly, “I’m so sorry Deethra...” she looked up slowly and her tired old eyes passed between her and Rian, “For both of you, truly I am...” she bowed forwards with this final apology, then turned away and saw herself out.

Deet spent the next several days in bed as her body slowly recovered from the trauma. She was nursed mainly by Rian and occasionally by Brea when Rian was needed elsewhere. The Maudra had left behind a number of instructions for speeding Deet’s recovery, including a special powder to be mixed with water that helped her sleep. Deet was grateful for this, for when she drank it she didn’t dream. And the dreamless void of sleep was the only relief she could find these days. Rian and Brea often asked her how she felt but...she never knew how to answer, because she wasn’t sure how she felt herself. It was like feeling everything and nothing all once. On the surface She was numb, still in shock at how suddenly her whole world had been upended. But beneath her disbelief there was bitterness and anger. She was angry at everything and cursed the world. She cursed her bed for keeping her confined when she would rather be outside, and the suns for daring to shine through her window everyday-it should be raining, or at the very least cloudy. She cursed Rian for making her pregnant in the first place and Brea because her baby was still safe and healthy inside her belly. She cursed Thra itself for being so cruel to rip her little baby out of it’s mother’s womb before it’s time. But most of all she cursed herself, because no matter how much the Maudra or Rian or Brea reassured her that "These things do happen," and that it wasn’t her fault, she knew deep down that it was. How could it not be? She thought bitterly, she’d been touched by the darkening. It had obviously corrupted her body to the point that it was completely hostile to childlings and could never give one life. She had been foolish and stupid to ever hope that it could. 

Having no other outlet for her frustrations and anger, She took them all out on Rian. She was uncharacteristically cross and snapped at him over the smallest of things. She wished that he would get angry and yell at her, she deserved to be yelled at, but no. He always bore her attacks with patience and never snapped back, which made her feel all the more ashamed. She didn’t deserve him. He would’ve made such a wonderful father...and he deserved a wife who could make him one. A wife who was whole and uncorrupted by the darkening. Her frustrations came to a head after her fifth day in bed. She wasn’t healing or gaining strength like she should be, mainly due to the fact that she refused to eat. She blamed it on the fact that her appetite had not yet returned, but that was only half true. The whole truth was that she felt she didn’t deserve to eat, and at least the pain of hunger distracted her from all the rest. Her stubbornness was stressing Rian to his limits and he was at his wits end as he sat at the edge of the bed with a bowl of stew in his lap, trying to convince her to eat. “Deet, Be reasonable.” He said in a level tone,“you haven’t had anything but water and tea in three days and you have to eat something if you want to be well again.”

“Rian, for the last time I’m not hungry.” she snapped at him, annoyed at how he constantly tried to fix her when she did not want to be fixed.

He persisted, “Come on now, just have a little bit. Maybe you’ll get hungry once you start eating. Here, I’ll feed it to you.” He took the spoon from the bowl on his lap and brought it up to her face. She ducked away from it. 

“Rian stop it! I don’t want to be fed. I am not a childling!” 

He slammed the spoon back into the bowl, “Then stop acting like one!” Deet blinked, taken aback, it was the first time he’d raised his voice at her since she lost the baby. He took a deep breath and steadied himself, “Deethra this has to stop. I know you blame yourself for...” he winced, “what happened...But I won’t let you keep punishing yourself this way... Especially over something that isn’t even your fault.”

“Not my fault? Isn’t it though?”

“For the last time: no.” 

“Oh Rian don’t give me that! I’m so tired of hearing it from you and everyone else just trying to make me feel better. You and I both know the truth.” Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes, “it was my fault...it was because of the darkening...” 

He sighed and lowered his tone, “Deet...You know that isn’t true.” 

“Than why else would this happen when everything was perfectly fine?”

“I don’t know why!” He cried out, exasperated, “you think I haven’t asked myself that same question a million times? Why? Why us? But we don’t know why, and we probably never will! It’s like Maudra Argot said, sometimes these things just happen...”

She crossed her arms as Rian set the bowl down on the bedside table and put his elbows on his knees, leaning his weight on them. They both stared down in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes. The tension in the air was palpable.

“I keep wanting something to blame.” said Rian, finally breaking the silence, “I wish there was Someone I could hold responsible for all this pain that’s been brought on you...but there isn’t anyone. And I hate it. I can’t do anything to help...” he admitted.

She looked up at him, his face still turned away from her. “I felt so worthless that day Deet. So powerless...You were both fading away right in front of me and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. It was like...” he paused and shook his head, taking a deep, shuddering breath before starting again, “It was like Mira and my father all over again. Except worse...because there was so much more at stake this time.” 

As she stared at him slumped forwards on his knees, she saw for the first time just how exhausted he truly was. She had never seen him look so completely defeated before. “Rian...” she started but did not finish.

He turned his head to face her slowly, tears threatening to spill from the corner of his eyes, “Please don’t do this to me Deet. I can stand everything else, but I can’t stand to lose you too. I just can’t...” his voice broke and he lowered his head as he wiped at his eyes. 

She lurched forwards on the bed and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could, "Oh Rian! I'm so sorry. Please forgive me! I-I didn't.." her words trailed off as she began to cry. He slumped into her embrace and brought a protective hand up to cup the the base of her head, burying his head in her shoulder as he finally allowed himself to cry too. She had no idea how long they stayed like this, sobbing into each other's arms and murmuring words of apologies and comfort to each other. But when they finally parted she made sure to eat the entire bowl of stew. She was able to leave bed just two days after she began eating again.

* * *

They sat cross-legged together on the packed forest earth, beneath the canopy of swaying trees and starry night sky. Between their hands they each clasped a tiny, brown seed. Some gelfling might find it strange to hold such a ceremony for someone who had not even lived for a single day out in Thra, but to Deet it seemed perfectly natural-and exactly what they both needed. Holding this little ceremony between the two of them had been Rian's idea. He had delicately suggested it to her one night after she was well enough to leave the bed, explaining that he thought it might bring them both the closure they so desired. She smiled and agreed that it sounded like just the thing. She gripped the seed in her hands a little tighter and Rian nodded, encouraging her to begin. They took turns speaking as they each held their seeds close and shared their memories of her. All their hopes and sorrow, their laughter and their tears, every single ounce of the love they had for their little daughter that they'd never known, yet loved with all their souls just the same. Deet clutched her seed tightly to her body as she dreamstitched to it the memory of those little wings that used to flutter so softly inside of her, and how much she loved their owner. When the dreamstitching was done and both of their seeds began to glow with the light of their memories, Deet gave hers one last stroke before they set them free into the night. They both watched spellbound and reverent as their seeds encircled each other, dancing together on the cool breeze as they rose higher and higher into the canopy of trees, before finally fluttering away into the night sky. Deet smiled to herself as they watched them disappear from sight, feeling that now they could finally begin to heal.

An unum had passed now since they had sent their daughter's memory into the wind, and Deet was almost fully recovered and back to her old self again, much to the relief of Rian. Life was finally back to some sense of normalcy for the two of them, though she still had bad days now and then. There were times when she would remember the fluttering of little wings or imagine a little girl with chestnut hair and almond eyes and start blaming herself all over again, but they were less frequent now than had been. And she could console herself now with a confident "It was not my fault," and she knew that now. It was nobody's fault: These things did happen sometimes. That was all. Maudra Argot had declared her fully recovered on her last visit and given her the all clear to begin trying for children again if they wanted to. Deet swallowed hard as she questioned herself...did she want to? Was she ready to try again? What if something ...happened again? Was she willing to risk it? Did she even want to try again at all? She talked it all over with Rian that night. He responded by taking her hands in his and telling her that ultimately it was her decision, and he would go along with whatever it was she wanted. 

Deet finally came to her decision when Brea and Reky'r’s son was born. She and Rian paid them a visit the day after Brea had given birth. She’d walked up to the bed and given Brea a warm hug as Rian offered his congratulations to Reky'r. The healthy, baby boy lied in a hand-carved bassinet next to the bed and Brea invited Deet to hold him. Deet felt a wave of anxiety sweep over her at the thought and tried politely to refuse. But Rek’yr, bursting with fatherly pride had insisted. He scooped his son up out of the bassinet, and thrust him firmly into Deet’s arms before returning to Brea’s bedside to speak with her. Deet floundered with the new bundle in her arms, adjusting her position to be sure she was properly supporting his head. Tentatively, she bent her head over him and peeled back the swaddling cloth to get a better look at his face and nearly gasped when she did. His skin was a milky blue-green, like his father’s with a tuft of his mother’s silvery white hair on his head. His delicate eyelids were closed over eyes that she was told were blue as he slept soundly in her arms. He was a beautiful childling! Almost like a doll. It was strange, she’d held babies before but ...she’d never been so captivated by one like this. He began to stir in her arms and Instinctively she began to bounce him up and down to lull him. It felt so natural and right to be holding him her arms like this. He let out an adorable little yawn and she cooed at him as he drifted back to sleep. As she admired him she felt a desire in her heart that grew stronger and stronger the longer she held him...a desire to have this for herself. To have a baby of her own. Suddenly, she looked up to see Rian leaning against the wall. His eyes roamed over her perceptively, admiring her as she held the baby. He locked eyes with her, then looked slowly down at the baby in her arms, and back at her again. He raised his eyebrows in a quizzical little look and she knew immediately what he was asking. Her ears tilted back shyly and she nodded at him. He smiled and gave a slow nod back, not taking his eyes off her, She felt her cheeks grow hot under his gaze and marveled at how after everything they’d been through together he could still make her flush like a maiden. 

When she found out she was with childling again she felt no fear. She had thought that she would be terrified, but instead she felt only calm and steadiness. It was the oddest thing-and she didn't know why, but... she had a good feeling about this one. Call it a mother's intuition, but there was something inside her which comforted and reassured her that things would be different this time. Perhaps it was best summed up by the words that this childling’s father had spoken to her trine ago: "It will be better." These words were proven true the day she held her son safely in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> As always c&c are welcome and appreciated. I'll probably write something sweet and fluffy with a pregnant Deet later to make up for all this angst. Thank you for reading! and I hope you enjoyed it. <3


End file.
